Well. The MLS season started up again, and Mama always said the first day of anything is like opening a new box of chocolates — you never know what you're gonna get. Turns out we got forty-two goals, which is more goals than I've seen in one day since... well, I can't remember seeing that many goals in one day. The players sure did run a lot. I've done my share of running, and I know tired legs when I see them.
Some teams won big, some lost big, and some tied up even-steven. That's football, I guess. Mama always said you can't win 'em all, but you sure can try your hardest every time.
When the Goals Just Kept Coming
The Portland Timbers and Columbus Crew put on quite a show at Providence Park. Five goals between them, with the last one coming in the eighty-eighth minute from A. Lassiter. I don't know much about clutch timing, but I know that boy picked a real good time to score. The Timbers won 3-2, and you could hear the crowd from way down the street. Columbus started strong with W. Abou Ali scoring in the sixth minute, but Portland just kept running and running until they got ahead. That's the thing about not giving up — sometimes it works out.
San Diego beat CF Montreal 5-0, which is what my drill sergeant would have called a complete demolition. C. McVey started the scoring in the fourteenth minute, and by the time the dust settled, San Diego had five goals and Montreal had zero. Plus they got a red card on Tomás Avilés in the fiftieth minute, which made things even harder. I felt bad for Montreal — nobody likes getting beat that bad in front of everybody. But San Diego sure could run that day.
FC Dallas and Toronto FC played out a real nice back-and-forth game, 3-2 to Dallas. P. Musa scored twice for Dallas, including the first goal in the ninth minute and the winner in the seventy-fourth. I've seen a lot of goal scorers in my time, and the ones who score twice in the same game usually remember that day for a long while.
The Close Ones
Orlando City SC lost to New York Red Bulls 2-1, but they sure didn't quit. Tiago scored for Orlando in the ninetieth minute, which was about as late as you can score and still have it count for something. J. Hall scored twice for the Red Bulls, in the eighth and fortieth minutes. Sometimes one player just has your number, I guess.
Austin and Minnesota United FC tied up 2-2, with both teams scoring late. K. Yeboah got Minnesota's equalizer in the ninetieth minute, which must have felt real good after being down. I don't know much about comebacks, but I know they feel mighty nice when they happen to you.
Houston Dynamo came back to beat Chicago Fire 2-1, with Guilherme scoring both Houston goals in the sixty-seventh and seventy-eighth minutes. Chicago took the lead through H. Cuypers in the thirty-first minute, but Houston just kept plugging away. Mama always said persistence beats resistance, and I think that's what happened here.
The Comfortable Wins
Nashville SC beat New England Revolution 4-1, with S. Surridge scoring twice in the first sixteen minutes. When you score twice that early, the rest of the game gets a lot easier, I imagine. H. Mukhtar and W. Madrigal added goals too, while L. Campana got one back for New England in the forty-seventh minute. Revolution tried, but Nashville was just running faster that day.
Los Angeles FC shut out Inter Miami 3-0, with goals from D. Martinez, D. Bouanga, and N. Ordaz. Inter Miami had sixty-eight percent possession, which means they had the ball a lot, but LAFC had the goals. Sometimes having the ball doesn't matter if you can't put it in the goal. That's something I learned watching a lot of soccer.
San Jose Earthquakes beat Sporting Kansas City 3-0 too. D. Munie scored twice, and P. Judd got one. Kansas City had fifty-six percent possession but only one shot on target. I counted fifteen corners for San Jose and only three for Kansas City. That's a lot more corners. I don't know exactly what corners mean, but fifteen seems like a lot more than three.
The Narrow Victories
FC Cincinnati beat Atlanta United FC 2-0 with both goals coming real late — K. Denkey in the eightieth minute and N. Hagglund in the ninetieth. Sometimes games stay quiet until the very end, then everything happens at once. That's football for you.
DC United beat Philadelphia Union 1-0 with a twenty-third minute goal from T. Baribo. Philadelphia got down to ten men when Ezekiel Alladoh got a red card in the fifty-eighth minute. Playing with ten men is like running with a backpack full of rocks — you can do it, but it sure makes things harder.
Vancouver Whitecaps beat Real Salt Lake 1-0 on a fifty-seventh minute goal from A. Jackson. Sometimes one goal is all you need. I've seen a lot of 1-0 games in my time, and they're usually real tight affairs where every play matters.
The Even Steven
St. Louis City and Charlotte tied 1-1. M. Hartel scored for St. Louis in the sixtieth minute, and P. Biel answered for Charlotte in the seventy-third. St. Louis had eleven shots on target while Charlotte only had three, but soccer balls don't always go where you want them to. That's the thing about this game — you can do everything right and still not win.
Stock Liga Market Report
On the Stock Liga exchange, the big winners saw their stock prices surge like a shrimp boat catching a full net. San Diego, Portland Timbers, Nashville SC, Los Angeles FC, and San Jose Earthquakes — those teams had shareholders celebrating today. The teams that got beat bad, well, their stock prices dropped like a stone in water. CF Montreal, New England Revolution, Inter Miami, and Sporting Kansas City investors are gonna wake up to some red numbers tomorrow.
The teams that tied — Austin, Minnesota United FC, St. Louis City, and Charlotte — their stocks just held steady, like a boat anchored in calm water. Sometimes staying put is better than going backwards, Mama always said.
I don't know much about stock markets, but I know when teams win by big scores, their numbers go up fast. And when they lose by big scores, well, those numbers go down just as fast. Forty-two goals sure made for a lot of movement in those Stock Liga portfolios.
And just like that, the MLS season was off and running. Thirty-four more rounds to go, and if the first one is any indication, we're in for quite a ride. That's all I have to say about that.